The Corporate Lingo August 26
They sound so familiar and real… Sometimes they are there to make you feel better - it’s so ironic…
1) “We will do it” means “You will do it”.
2) “You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”.
3) “We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the same”.
4) “Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “It’s not getting done… At least not tomorrow!”.
5) “After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do”.
6) “There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”.
7) “Let’s call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will talk later”.
8) “We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”.
9) “We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”
10) “We had slight differences of opinion” means “We had actually fought”.
11) “Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”.
12) “You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”
13) “We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you where your fault is”.
14) “Well… family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected” means “Well you know…”.
15) “We are a team” means “I am not the only one to be blamed”.
16) “That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it”.
17) “Hmmm, looks interesting” means “What an ugly piece of crap!”
18) “I have a lot of things on my tab today.” means “I need to change several things that will take about an hour.”
19) “All the Best” means ” You are in trouble”.
20) “We will take that offline” means “Shut up and forget it”. - contributed by segnick
21) “How are we going to do this moving forward” means “Don’t F*$%^ it up again” - contributed by sucker
22) “The team needs to agree if we will go ahead with this decision” means “I am not going down alone if this screws up” - contributed by sucker
Do you want to add anything? *chuckles*
